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At the end of my drinking I hated me. I loathed the drunken homeless bum I had become and felt obligated to remain. The end couldnt have come quick enough yet was torturously slow.

In recovery, working The 12 STEPS, I was to highlight and admit to the monster I was and to ask God to remove from me all my defects of character so I might better do his will. Most importantly I asked Him to remove me from the bondage of my wretched Self. It was a shaming time.

Gradually I have come to like who I was as it has made me who I am now and with God as my guide who I want to be. A flawed...

I first tasted alcohol at the age of 15. Up until then I had been irritable, restless and discontent. Alcohol changed all that. It calmed me as well as making me feel alive and a part of life. I had always been looking for something; finally I had found it and alcohol was like a magic elixir of sorts. Everything was better with a drink inside me.

As it turned out alcohol was to destroy my life for the next 25 years but in those first few months an illusion built within my mind that suddenly I was invincible. I could and would achieve anything. But it was a lie as I was later to find...